In the beginning, Satoshi created Bitcoin, and it was good.

Then, in December 2017, Shlomo Nakametzl begat Oy!-thereum.

The Jewish people’s covenant with their finances would never be the same.

 

Introducing Oy!-thereum

Smart Contracts from the People who Brought you Albert Einstein

 “8 Crazy Nights of ICO,” beginning 25 Kislev 5778

(December 12, 2017)

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Keep up with the latest schmooze on Twitter: @oythereum

 

Why is this coin different from all other coins?

All other coins are tradable 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 356 days a year, but Oy!-thereum observes the Sabbath.
Oy!-thereum (ticker: JEW) uses the revolutionary proof-of-no-work (PON) function as its mining core. PON stipulates a complete shutdown of transfers of JEW on the Oy!-thereum network every Friday evening upon sundown. The blockchain then resumes confirming transactions when three stars are visible Saturday evening.

All other coins de-centralize the world financial system.
Oy!-thereum is engineered for hyper-centralization.
With a user base limited to a “chosen” 0.2% of the world population, Oy!-thereum will ensure world financial dominance remains concentrated in the hands of those who have been controlling it since the late Middle Ages anyway.

Oy!-thereum is not just a coin; it’s a platform…not unlike the one you read Haftarah from at your Bar Mitzvah.
Use the Oy!-thereum blockchain to create your own digi-gelt, and add a new chapter to the Jewish people’s illustrious history. Projects already on the network include:
Oy!VeyThereum, (cheap transaction fees for the stingiest end users) Oy!-sereum (the Eastern European AshkaniziKash), and Bit Mi’lah, a scaling solution that cuts the signature off the witness 8 days after the Genesis block is mined.

 

Core Technologies


Segregated Cutlery
Hostile forks and IFOs can divide a smart contract system. However, unlike other smart contracts, Oy!-thereum transactions are only confirmed if they uphold the laws of kashrut. Therefore, rather than hard forks and soft forks, the Oy!-thereum blockchain utilizes dairy forks and meat forks to maintain the integrity of the protocol. This prevents cross-chain contamination, and insures that all transactions are kosher.

HAGLing
Oy!-thereum is divisible up to 18 decimal places, units small enough even the most thrifty end user will buy it. However, since the price of Oy!-thereum may reach the moon some day, it is suggested that users “Just HAGL” when making purchases, to obtain the cheapest price possible. 

Goythereum
Demographers estimate that the gentile diaspora includes up to 99.8% of the world population. To service this ethnic majority, the Oy!-thereum team is currently aleph-testing Goythereum (ticker: GOY), a token which will run on the Oy!-thereum network, and is designed for our Gentile khaveyrim.

Oy!-thereum Blue and White Paper coming soon.

For the latest information, memes, and bargains, follow #Oythereum on Twitter.

8 Crazy Nights of ICO

Token reimbursement rates

Base Rate: 1 ETH=18,000 JEW

Round 1- First night of Hannukah, BST* 00:00-24:00 12/12/2017

Round 2- Second night of Hannukah, BST 00:00-24:00 12/13/2017

Round 3- Third night of Hannukah, BST 00:00-24:00 12/14/2017

Round 4- Fourth night of Hannukah, BST 00:00-24:00 12/15/2017

Round 5- Fifth night of Hannukah, BST 00:00-24:00 12/16/2017

Round 6- Sixth night of Hannukah, BST 00:00-24:00 12/17/2017

Round 7- Seven night of Hannukah, BST 00:00-24:00 12/18/2017

Round 8- Eighth night of Hannukah, BST 00:00-24:00 12/19/2017

*(Brooklyn Standard Time)
Get your JEW while the latkes are hot
“Afikoman” Bonus round: TBA

To buy Oy!-thereum, first, send an Ethereum (ETH) payment corresponding to the amount of Oy!-thereum (JEW) tokens you wish to procure to the following address:

0x666713e1679fBE27486a4b47f09512D78EebE7C3

Next, you must have an ERC20 compatible wallet to store the Oy!-thereum tokens you will be sent. If using an ERC20 compatible wallet (e.g. MetaMask or MyEtherWallet), this is where you will receive your Oy!-thereum upon distribution after the token sale. Do NOT send from exchange wallets such as Coinbase, Kraken, or Bittrex. Also, do NOT send from Jaxx or multi-signature wallets.

Email the information below to oyshill1@cheerful.com

First Name :
Last Name :
ETH ADDRESS from which you are donating:
Amount of ETH you are donating:
Schill Referral Code (if applicable):
After sign up is complete, you will receive your own “schill code” so that you can begat Oy!-thereum tokens to members of your chavurah for a discount—makes the perfect Hanukkah gift.

 

 

FINE PRINT

SCAM ALERT:
There are currently several scams, hostile (non-kosher) forks and clone coins masquerading as the real Oy!-thereum. Confirm that the URL in your browser window is oythereum.com.

I have read and agree to the terms and conditions. BY TIPPING OR DONATING TO OY!-THEREUM YOU REPRESENT AND WARRANT THAT:
• You realize this coin serves no halakhic purpose and do not expect to receive any profit, material or otherwise, from donating to an anonymous ETH address. Tokens dropped in the tzedakah box are not appropriated to any kind of work or enterprise, and may or may not be traded for Hanakkah gelt, planting trees in Israel, or parve magical internet bean tokens shared between friends for lulz;
• You acknowledge that there is no specific commercial organization or entity behind Oy!-thereum, although there may be casual ties to the secret world wide Jewish banking fraternity;
• You are not resident or located in a country or jurisdiction in which access to or use of Oy!-thereum is prohibited by applicable law or commandment;
• You are not resident or located in or within 500 cubits of a country or jurisdiction subject to international trade sanctions (including but not limited to Cuba, Iran, North Korea, Sodom, Gomorrah, Syria, and the Crimea region of Ukraine) (collectively, the Sanctioned Countries”);
• You are not identified on, or employed or associated with an entity identified as being a traitorous spy, weapons dealer, treif dealer, taskmaster, money launderer, tax evader, or are listed on either the Specially Designated Nationals and Blocked Persons List, Foreign Sanctions Evaders List, or Sectoral Sanctions Identifications List, or Denied Persons List, Unverified List, or Entity List (collectively, the “Prohibited Party Lists”); or the International Pharaoh Registry
• You will not use Oy!-thereum to conduct or facilitate any transactions with any person or entity located or resident in a Sanctioned Country or identified on a Prohibited Party List.

Oy!-thereum is currently in negotiations with several exchanges about being listed as a traded token. Despite being tough negotiators, to date no deal has been struck. HAGL!

 

Tzedakah Box

The Oy!-thereum team is at work 24 hours a day, 6 days a week—making sure that the Chosen Currency meets the needs of all MOTs.
Please consider doing a mitzvah and dropping a few shekels of into our Tzedakah Box to show your support.

Bitcoin Cash (BCH):  16nPLEqQjBgiwjwVNiC6ZMcVPxWcEbfDzJ

Bitcoin (BTC) 1jewHa8SH3H2vSrHUHEHGNQHefcoCimBY

 

***Oy!-thereum is an equal opportunity employer.  We hire Jews of any race, gender, or sexual orientation, and do not discriminate based on level of observance.***